Are you also already looking forward to the summer holidays?
Sleeping in.
PJ days with the kids.
Finally finishing that book by reading all day.
Maybe taking long walks.
Having interesting discussions with friends.
Oh, these are such great things to look forward to.
Everyone has time for each other and you do fun things together. Your partner takes care of the cooking and prepares the most delicious dishes. You also loosen up somewhat, creating mental space to do more. What a relief! At last, you have good conversations. Tasks are finally balanced fairly again and new agreements are made.
But then holiday is over.
Yes, it is going to happen: the holiday will be over before you know it.
You're back home. School has started again and so has the daily routine.
Rushing, nagging colleagues, traffic jams, hurry, hurry, and so much to do.
The daily rut.
Suddenly, you're totally fed up with that daily rut, in which it is taken for granted that you do the laundry, cook, make doctor's appointments, clean up, and bring everyone to and from wherever - whenever. And of course your partner suddenly has very important meetings to attend to
This is when you start thinking: for whom am I doing all this? Where am I in this story? What happened to our weekly date night together?
It's as if you're that frog, slowly being warmed up and unable to jump out of the pot.
You're stuck. Stuck in a rut.
Everything the same. Day in, day out.
Help!
Take those signals seriously.
Choose for yourself.
It's no coincidence that divorce lawyers get the most work after a holiday...
But before you resort to something so drastic, take a look at your own life from a distance.
What is your role in the whole picture?
Did your parents do the same, and are they your (unconscious) example?
What makes you happy? Start doing that again!
What can you change yourself?
Go salsa dancing.
Go out to dinner with your partner, or have a picnic in the cold.
Go for a walk.
Dance on the table.
Sing along loudly and off-key to the songs on the radio.
Start that course you've been wanting to do for years but always thought you don't have time for. Make plans with friends.
Go to the movies.
Go out!
Get out there!
It's often much easier to keep everything as is.
To change takes strength and requires you to be consistent and persistent.
Sometimes you need new insights on how things can be different, you may also need help from a (relationship) therapist or psychologist for that.
Feel welcome.
You can always send me a message to get acquainted so that we can find out together if I am the one who can support you in breaking out of that rut.
